As I changed my idea to the origional event my new proposal was to create a series of stills that depicted abstract images of broken dolls and toys, discarded and left destroyed. The film was going to be a sequence in which a small child destroys a doll, ripping the limbs off and tearing it to shreds. Then exposed over this sequence I wanted to do the same sequence but with an older woman, the reason for this was to show the loss of innocence from the brutal act. The act of destroying something is violent and this was going to symbolize the anger of rape.
I started to think about this idea a lot within the third week of term and realised that agin it wasn't what I really wanted to do, it didn’t really express anything I was feeling. It didn’t show the actuality of what I went through after being subjected to such a traumatic event, the worst of which were the constant nightmares, it even got so bad that I started to scare myself when I was awake. I turned my own memories into dreams and changed parts of reality into complete fantasy horror. The face of my rapist became that of a wolf, the sky was dark, and I was being constantly followed or watched. I couldnt get away from the fear. This is what I want to base my project around now.
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